The older girls have gone out with my mother in law, she also washed our dishes and tidied up a whole kitchen because I just didn't have the energy to do it all myself for the 5000x today.
Its nice for the place to be silent for the first time this week, the school holidays started and so now the constant screaming + complaining will be part of our days.
I am so grateful she took them because I really needed some time away from them to re-center myself, to re-focus and to push away the sadness I am carrying around.
By taking them I am finally able to breath, ponder around the house doing a few little things I need to do, write those list and stare at all the old clothes they no longer need.
I just have these days that I just need to be able to close my eyes and not feel this intense overwhelmed feeling that I get.
Usually my parents lend a helping hand but they are currently on holidays overseas and I've noticed so much more how much I actually need them,
I need them because I tend to get a little overwhelmed with everything around me, I am the main sol career of the girls, I do everything for them, for our home and for him.
Some days my days seem like they will never end, that they just drag on and on while others I blink and its already time for the night flow.
The older I get the more I realise how much you need family or friends to be around, for them to come past so you can shower for the first time in a few days, for them to entertain your children while you cook some dinner or to grab a coffee or bring you some, or to sit at a park with you while your children run around,
I am so grateful that I do have that.
What is it even really??
Regard for one's own well-being and happiness. Is the dictionary meaning that google gives you.
But how many of us practice it with ourselves??
As women, mothers and everything we are, we tend to always put ourselves last on any little list, we conversate with our friends about things we wish to change within ourselves to fit in with the way society wants us to be, we even tell ourselves that we are not enough.
We aspire to be something that even when we reach those goal we have set for ourselves it is not enough because society tells us that we need more.
Today's society wants us all to be skinny with an hourglass figure and more than 50% of us do not have that and we belittle ourselves for not.
We are also told that if we love ourselves we our up-ourselves, that we think we are better than everyone else, that we shouldn't love ourselves because of ect.
Personally I think self love is really important it makes you who you are, it helps you stand tall in all those situations you would want to dig a hole in, it makes you and those around you happy.
With self love we teach our children to appreciate and love themselves, to love their little quirks and accept that they are not the same as their friends and that being different is 100% okay.
With self love we teach them how they should treat themselves, how they should be treated by others and how they should treat others, by this imagine their generation how much more accepting they will be with each other for who they are.
With self love we can love so much more.
but first we need to show ourselves self love, we need to appreciate what we have, what we do and forget what we do not have.
I am not here to tell you to go to your mirror and tell yourself that you are wonderful woman ect.
I'm here to tell you that by feeding your body good wholesome foods, by drinking water and moving every single day is a form of self love because your body will thrive, by stopping the comparisons with others because you are the only person on this earth that is just like you, celebrating those achievements no matter how little they are, by learning to say no, letting go of past trauma/wounds, losing toxic relationships and learning to forgive yourself even if you do a few once a blue moon soon you'll get the hang of it and you'll be glowing with self love and acceptance.
Gabi loves, loves cakes, muffins, cupcakes and anything else that is sweet but I've started to notice the more sweet things she eats the harder it is to avoid those massive meltdowns when she becomes over tired (she doesn't like having naps).
So I have been playing around with many different style of "cakes" to find one that she can still see as something sweet but its not that heavy on the sugar so I came up with this, she ate half the loaf because to her moderation's don't count.
I hope you love this as much as she does.
1 cup of plain flour
1 cup of coconut flour
1 cup of diced dates
1 cup of melted coconut oil or butter
2 large organic eggs
1 cup of milk ( I used almond) with a dash on lemon juice
1 tsp baking powder
1 tbs vanilla essence
2.5 ripe bananas
Preheat oven to 170 degrees c.
In a large bowl mix together all the dry ingredients.
Melt the butter/coconut oil, let to cool down just a little.
In a separate bowl add the eggs, dates, milk and butter/coconut oil mix well.
Join wet ingredients to dry and mix.
Mash up bananas and add to the bowl.
Pour into a pre oiled loaf tin and bake for 60mins.
note; it will not rise that much, but you will know its fully cooked when your home starts to smell amazing.
So i've been pregnant 3 times in my 26 years of life,
I became a mum 8 years ago and these are a handful of items I went back too, some are newer because so much has changed since Bella was born.
Bonds maternity bras because the sit just right under tops + singlet bottom right which can be used as tops or usually under a denim shirt or kimono depending on the weather.
Black Boyfriend tees from topshop or general pants.
A chunky knit cardigan for winter and a stylish Kimono for summer.
Cheap Monday high waisted denim to tuck in that little extra tummy I struggle to get rid of.
Sukin wellbing body oil such a beautiful product to use on old stretch marks and dry skin.
if you know me well you would know that I love green tea so much and only recently became hooked to the Madame Flavour range its like a cup of happiness,
I slowly cutting out all things dairy and pana chocolate have become my go too treat.